yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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