What did we do last night that was yellow?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
