haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
