u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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