I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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