16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So squirting runs in the family.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
