My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like a drive thru vagina
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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