We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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