oh god the rape fog is back!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
