Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
being pregnant is like rehab
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
