I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I puked a lego.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
