My room smells like vodka and shame
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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