I want to have your abortion
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
