So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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