pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize