Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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