The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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