I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
