Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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