so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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