YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
