Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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