yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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