i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
