why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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