dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The power of my boobs compel you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
