My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
