Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize