: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
