I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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