You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
