he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
