Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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