Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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