i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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