My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
