Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
