Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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