Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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