Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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