I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
