Soap is not a condiment
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
