gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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