Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
