Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Barsexuality is the new black.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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