I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
