Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
