no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
