I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
