All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
