Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
