Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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