um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
