Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
