FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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