I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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