You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
