guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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