i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
