Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
In America we eat man semen.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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