craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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